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Enter Elaria and Mopsophil.
Truly I was so sleepy last Night, I know nothing of the adventure, for which you are kept so close a Prisoner to Day, and more strictly guarded than usual.
Cinthio came with Musick last Night under my Window, which my Father hearing sallyed out with his Mermidons upon him; and clashing of Swords I heard, but what hurt was done, or whether Cinthio were discovered to him, I know not; but the Billet I sent him now by Scaramouch, will occasion me soon intelligence.
And see Madam where you trusty Roger comes.
Enter Scaramouch peeping on all sides before he enters.—You may advance, and fear none but your Friends.
Away and keep the door.
Oh dear Scaramouch! hast thou been at the Vice-Roys!
And hast thou delivered my Letter to his Nephew, Don Cinthio?
Yes, Yes, what should I deliver else?
Well—and how does he?
Lord, how shou'd he do? Why, what a Laborious thing it is to be a Pimp?
Why, well he shou'd do.
So he is, as well as a Night adventuring Lover can be,—he has got but one wound, Madam.
How! wounded say you? Oh Heavens! 'Tis not Mortal?
Why, I have no great skill,—but they say it may be Dangerous.
I Dye with fear, where is he wounded?
Why, Madam, he is run—quit thorough the —heart,—but the Man may Live, if I please.
Thou please! Torment me not with Bidles.
Why, Madam, there is a certain cordial Ballam, called a fair, Lady; which outwardly applyed to his Bosom, will prove a better cure than all your Weapon or Sympathetick Powder, meaning your Ladyship.
Is Cinthio then not wounded?
No otherwise than by your fair Eyes, Madam; he got away unseen and unknown.
Dost know how precious time is, and dost thou Fool it away thus? what said he to my Letter?
What should he say?
Why a hundred dear soft things of Love, kiss it as often, and bless me for my goodness.
Why so he did.
Ask thee a thousand question of my health after my last nights fright.
So he did.
Expressing all the kind concern Love cou'd inspire, for the punishment my Father has inflicted on me, for entertaining him at my Window last Night.
All this he did.
And for my being confin'd a Prisoner to my Apartment, without the hope or almost possibility of seeing him any more.
There I think you are a little mistaken, for besides the Plot that I have laid to bring you together all this Night,—there are such Stratagems abrewing, not only to bring you together, but with your Fathers consent too; Such a Plot, Madam.
Ay that wou'd be worthy of thy Brain; prethee what—
Such a device.
Such a Canundrum,—well if there be wise Men and Conjurers in the World, they are intriguing Lovers.
Out with it.
You must know, Madam, your Father, (my Master, the Doctor,) is a little Whimsical, Romantick, or Don Quick-sottish, or so.—
Or rather Mad.
That were uncivil to be supposed by me; but Lunatick we may call him without breaking the Decorum of good Manners; for he is always travelling to the Moon.
And so Religiously believes there is a World there, that he discourses as gravely of the People, their Government, Institutions, Laws, Manners, Religion and Constitution, as if he had been bred a Machiavel there.
How came he thus infected first?
With reading foolish Books, Lucian's Dialogue of the Lofty Traveller, who flew up to the Moon, and thence to Heaven; an Heroick business called, The Man in the Moon, if you'll believe a Spaniard, who was carried thether, upon an Engine drawn by wild Geese; with another Philosophical Piece, A Discourse of the World in the Moon; with a thousand other ridiculous Volumes too hard to name.
Ay, this reading of Books is a pernicious thing. I was like to have run Mad once, reading Sir John Mandivel; —but to the business,—I went, as you know, to Don Cinthio's Lodgings, where I found him with his dear Friend Charmante, laying their heads together for a Farce.
Ay a Farce, which shall be called,—the World in the Moon . Wherein your Father shall be so impos'd on, as shall bring matters most magnificently about.—
I cannot conceive thee, but the design must be good since Cinthio and Charmante own it.
In order to this, Charmante is dressing himself like one of the Caballists of the Rosacrusian Order, and is coming to prepare my credulous Master for the greater imposition. I have his trinckets here to play upon him, which shall be ready.
But the Farce, where is It to be Acted?
Here, here, in this very House; I am to order the Decoration, adorn a Stage, and place Scenes proper.
How can this be done without my Father's knowledge?
You know the old Apartment next the great Orchard, and the Worm-eaten Gallery, that opens to the River; which place for several years no Body has frequented, there all things shall be Acted proper for our purpose.
Enter Mopsa running.
Run, Run Scaramouch, my Masters Conjuring for you like Mad below, he calls up all his little Divels with horrid Names, his Microscope, his Horoscope, his Telescope, and all his Scopes.
Here, here,—I had almost forgot the Letters; here's one for you, and one for Mrs. Bellemante.
Enter Bellemante with a Book.
Here, take my Prayer Book, Oh Matres chear.
Thy Eyes are always laughing, Bellemante.
And so would yours had they been so well imployed as mine, this Morning. I have been at the Chapel; and seen so many Beaus, such a Number of Plumeys, I cou'd not tell which I shou'd look on most, sometimes my heart was charm'd with the gay Blonding, then with the Melancholy Noire, annon the amiable brunet, sometimes the bashful, then again the bold; the little now, anon the lovely tall! In fine, my Dear, I was embarass'd on all sides, I did nothing but deal my heart tout au toore.
Oh there was then no danger, Cousin.
No but abundance of Pleasure.
Why, this is better than sighing for Charmante.
That's when he's present only, and makes his Court to me; I can sigh to a Lover, but will never sigh after him, —but Oh the Beaus, the Beaus, Cousin, that I saw at Church.
Oh you had great Devotion to Heaven then!
And so I had; for I did nothing but admire its handy work, but I cou'd not have pray'd heartily if I had been dying; but a deuce on't, who shou'd come in and spoyl all but my Lover Charmante, so drest, so Gallant, that he drew together all the scatter'd fragments of my heart, confin'd my wandering thoughts, and fixt 'em all on him; Oh how he look't, how he was dress'd!
—Oh what a dear ravishing thing is the beginning of an Amour?
Thou'rt still in Tune, when wilt thou be tame, Bellemante?
When I am weary of loving, Elaria.
To keep up your Humor, here's a Letter from your Charmante.
Malicious Creature, when wilt thou cease to torment me, and either appear less charming or more kind. I languish when from you, and am wounded when I see you, and yet I am eternally Courting my Pain. Cinthio and I are contriving how we shall see you to Night. Let us not toyl in vain; we ask but your consent; the pleasure will be all ours; 'tis therefore fit we suffer all the fatigue. Grant this, and Love me, if you will save the Life of
—Live then Charmante! Live, as long as Love can last!
Well, Cousin, Scaramouch tells me of a rare design's a hatching, to relieve us from this Captivity; here are we mew'd up to be espous'd to two Moon-calfs for ought I know; for the Devil of any Human thing is suffer'd to come near us, without our Governante and Keeper, Mr. Scaramouch.
Who, if he had no more Honesty, and Conscience, than my Uncle, wou'd let us pine for want of Lovers; but thanks be prais'd the Generosity of our Cavaliers has open'd their obdurate Hearts with a Golden key, that let's 'em in at all opportunities. Come, come, let's in, and answer their Billet Deux.
Enter Doctor, with all manner of Mathematical Instruments, hanging at his Girdle; Scaramouch bearing a Telescope twenty (or more) Foot long.
Set down the Telescope.—Let me see, what Hour is it?
About six a Clock, Sir.
Then 'tis about the Hour, that the great Monarch of the upper World enters into his Closet; Mount, mount the Telescope.
What to do, Sir?
I understand, at certain moments Critical, one may be snatch't of such a mighty consequence to let the sight into the secret Closet.
How, Sir, Peep into the Kings Closet; under favour, Sir, that will be something uncivil.
Uncivil, it were flat Treason if it shou'd be known, but thus unseen, and as wise Politicians shou'd, I take Survey of all: This is the States-man's peeping-hole, thorow which he Steals the secrets of his King, and seems to wink at distance.
The very key-hole, Sir, thorow which with half an Eye, he sees him even at his Devotion, Sir.
Take care none enter—
Oh, Sir, Sir, here's some strange great Man come to wait on you.
Great Man? from whence?
Nay, from the Moon World, for ought I know, for he looks not like the People of the lower Orb.
Ha! and that may be: wait on him in.
Enter Scaramouch bare, bowing before Charmante, drest in a strange Fantastical Habit, with Harliquin Salutes the Doctor.
Doctor Baliardo, most learned Sir, all Hail; Hail from the great Caballa—of Eutopia.
Most Reverend Bard, thrice welcome.
The Fame of your great Learning, Sir, and Vertue, is known with Joy to the renown'd Society.
Fame, Sir, has done me too much Honour, to bear my Name to the renown'd Caballa.
You must not attribute it all to Fame, Sir, they are too learned and wise to take up things from Fame, Sir; our intleligence is by ways more secret and sublime, the Stars, and little Dæmons of the Air inform us all things, past, present, and to come.
I must confess the Count of Gabalist, renders it plain, from Writ Divine and Humane, there are such friendly and intleligent Dæmons.
I hope you do not doubt that Doctrine, Sir, which holds that the Four Elements are Peopl'd with Persons of a Form and Species more Divine than Vulgar Mortals— those of the fiery Regions we call the Salamanders, they beget Kings and Heroes, with Spirits like their Deietical Sires the lovely Inhabitants of the Water, we call Nymphs. Those of the Earth are Gnomes or Fayries. Those of the Air are Silfs. These, Sir, when in Conjunction with Mortals, beget Immortal Races. Such as the first born man, which had continu'd so, had the first Man ne'er doated on a Woman.
I am of that opinion, Sir, Man was not made for Woman.
Most certain, Sir, Man was to have been Immortalliz'd by the Love and Conversation of these Charming Silfs and Nymphs, and Woman by the Gnomes and Salamanders, and to have stock'd the World with Demy Gods, such as at this Day inhabit the Empire of the Moon.
Most admirable Philosophy and Reason.—But do these Silfs and Nymphs appear in shapes?
Of the most Beautiful of all the Sons and Daughters of the Universe: Fancy, Imagination is not half so Charming: And then so soft, so kind! but none but the Caballa and their Families are blest with their Divine Addresses. Were you but once admitted to that Society.—
Ay, Sir, what Vertues or what Merits can accomplish me for that great Honour?
An absolute abstinence from carnal thought, devout and pure of Spirit; free from Sin.
I dare not boast my Vertues, Sir; Is there no way to try my Purity?
Are you very secret.
'Tis my first Principle, Sir—
And one, the most material in our Rosocrusian order.
Please, you to make a Tryal.
As how, Sir, I beseech you?—
If you be throwly purg'd from Vice, the opticles of your sight will be so illuminated, that glancing through this Telescope, you may behold one of these lovely Creatures, that people the vast Region of the Air.
Sir, you oblige profoundly.
Kneel then, and try your strength of Vertue, Sir. —Keep your Eye
fix't and open.
[He looks in the Telescope.
[While he is looking, Charmante goes to the Door to Scaramouch, who waited on purpose without, and takes a Glass with a Picture of a Nymph on it, and a light behind it; that as he brings it, it shows to the Audience. Goes to the end of the Telescope.
—Can you discern, Sir?
Methinks I see a kind of Glorious Cloud drawn up—and now—'tis gone again.
Saw you no fuger?
Then make a short Prayer to Alikin, the Spirit of the East; shake off all Earthly thoughts, and look again.
—Astonisht, Ravisht with delight, I see a Beauty young and Angel like, leaning upon a Cloud—
Seems she on a Bed, then she's reposing, and you must not gaze—
Now a Cloud Veils her from me.
She saw you peeping then, and drew the Curtain of the Air between.
I am all Rapture, Sir, at this rare Vision—is't possible, Sir, that I may ever hope the Conversation of so Divine a Beauty?
Most possible, Sir; they will Court you, their whole delight is to Immortallize—Alexander was begot by a Salamander, that visited his Mother in the form of a Serpent, because he wou'd not make King Philip Jealous, and that famous Philosopher Merlin, was begotten on a Vestal Nun, a certain Kings Daughter, by a most beautiful young Salamander; as indeed all the Heroes , and men of mighty minds are.
The Nymph Egeria inamour'd on Nama Pompitius, came to him invisible to all Eyes else, and gave him all his Wisdom and Philosophy. Zoriastes, Trismegistus, Apuleius, Aquinius, Albertus Magnus, Socrates and Virgil had their Zilphid, which foolish people call'd their Dæmon or Devil. But you are wise, Sir.—
But do you imagine Sir, they will fall in Love with an old Mortal?
They love not like the Vulgar, 'tis the Immortal Part they doat upon.
But Sir, I have a Neece and Daughter which I love equally, were it not possible they might be Immortalliz'd?
No doubt on't Sir, if they be Pure and Chast.
I think they are, and I'll take care to keep 'em so; for I confess Sir, I wou'd fain have a Hero to my Grandson.
You never saw the Emperor of the Moon, Sir, the mighty Iredonozar ?
Never Sir; his Court I have, but 'twas confusedly too.
Refine your Thoughts Sir, by a moments Pray, and try again.
It is too much, too much for mortal Eyes! I see a Monarch seated on a Throne—But seems most sad and pensive.
Forbear then Sir, for now his Love-Fit's on, and then he wou'd be private.
His Love-Fit, Sir!
Ay Sir, the Emperor's in Love with some fair Mortal.
And can he not command her?
Yes, but her Quality being too mean, he struggles, tho' a King 'twixt Love and Honour.
It were too much to know the Mortal, Sir?
'Tis yet unknown, Sir, to the Caballists, who now are using all their Arts to find her, and serve his Majesty; but now my great Affair deprives me of you: To morrow Sir, I'll wait on you again; and now I've try'd your Vertue, tell you Wonders.
I humbly kiss your Hands, most Learned Sir.
So, so, Don Charmante has plaid his Part most exquisitely; I'll in and see how it works in his Pericranium. —Did you call Sir?
Scaramouch, I have, for thy singular Wit and Honesty, always had a Tenderness for thee above that of a Master to a Servant.
I must confess it, Sir.
Thou hast Vertue and Merit that deserves much.
Oh Lord, Sir!
And I may make thee great,—all I require, is, that thou wilt double thy diligent Care of my Daughter and my Neece, for there are mighty things design'd for them, if we can keep 'em from the sight of Man.
The sight of Man, Sir!
Ay, and the very Thoughts of Man.
What Antidote is there to be given to a young Wench, against the Disease of Love and Longing?
Do you your Part, and because I know thee Discreet and very Secret, I will hereafter discover Wonders to thee.—On pain of Life, look to the Girls; that's your Charge.
Doubt me not, Sir, and I hope your Reverence will reward my faithful Service with Mopsophil, your Daughters Governante, who is Rich, and has long had my Affection, Sir.
Set not thy Heart on Transitories mortal, there's Letter things in store—besides, I have promis'd her to a Farmer for his Son.—Come in with me, and bring the Telescope.
My Mistriss Mopsophil to marry a Farmers Son! What, am I
then forsaken, abandon'd by the false fain One? —If I have Honour, I
must die with Rage; Reproaching gently, and complaining madly. —It
is resolv'd, I'll hang my self—No,—When did I ever hear of a Hero
that hang'd himself? no—'tis the Death of Rogues. What If I drown my
self?— No,—Useless Dogs and Puppies are drown'd; a Pistol or a
Caper on my own Sword wou'd look more nobly, but that I have a natural
Aversion to Pain. Besides, it is as Vulgar as Rats-bane, or the
sliceing of the Weasand. No, I'll die a Death uncommon, and leave
behind me an eternal Fame. I have somewhere read an Author, either
Antient or Modern, of a Man that laugh'd to death.—I am very
Ticklish, and am resolv'd—to dye that Death. —Oh Mopsophil,
my cruel Mopsophil!
[Pulls off his Hat, Sword and Shooes.
—And now, farewel the World, fond Love, and mortal Cares.
Harlequin was left in the Garden, I'll tell him the News of
[Going forward, tumbles over him.
Ha, whats here? Harlequin Dead!—
Who is't that thus wou'd rob me of my Honour?
Honour, why I thought thou'dst been dead.
Why so I was, and the most agreeably dead.—
I came to bemoan with thee, the mutual loss of our Mistriss.
I know it Sir, I know it, and that thou'rt as false as she: Was't not a Covenant between us, that neither shou'd take advantage of the other, but both shou'd have fair Play, and yet you basely went to undermine me, and ask her of the Doctor; but since she's gone, I scorn to quarrel for her—But let's like loving Brothers, hand in hand, leap from some Precipice into the Sea.
What, and spoil all my Cloths? I thank you for that; no, I have a newer way: you know I lodge four pair of Stairs high, let's ascend thither, and after saying our Prayers.—
—Prayers! I never heard of a dying Hero that ever pray'd.
Well, I'll not stand with you for a Trifle— Being come up, I'll open the Casement, take you by the Heels, and fling you out into the Street,—after which, you have no more to do, but to come up and throw me down in my turn.
The Atchievment's great and new; but now I think on't, I'm resolv'd to hear my Sentence from the Mouth of the perfidious Trollop, for yet I cannot credit it.
The Chamber of Bellemante.
Enter Scaramouch groping.
So, I have got rid of my Rival, and shall here get an Opportunity to speak with Mopsophil, for hither she must come anon, to lay the young Ladies Night-things in order; I'll hide my self in some Corner till she come.
Enter Harlequin groping.
So, I made my Rival believe I was gone, and hid my self, till I got this Opportunity to steal to Mopsophil's Apartment, which must be hereabouts, for from these Windows she us'd to entertain my Love.
Ha, I hear a soft Tread,—if it were Mopsophil's, she wou'd not come by Dark.
What was that?—a Table,—There I may obscure my self.—
[Groping for the Table.
—What a Devil, is it vanish'd?
Devil,—Vanish'd,—What can this mean? 'Tis a Mans Voice.—If it shou'd be my Master the Doctor, now I were a dead Man;—he can't see me,— and I'll put my self into such a Posture, that if he feel me, he shall as soon take me for a Church Spout as a Man.
Ha, what's this? all Mouth, with twenty Rows of Teeth.—Now dare not I cry out, least the Doctor shou'd come, find me here, and kill me.—I'll try if it be mortal.—
Who the Devil can this be? I felt a Poniard, and am glad I sav'd my Skin from pinking.
Enter Bellemante, with a Candle in one Hand, and a Book in the other.
I am in a Belle Humor for Poetry to Night,— I'll make some Boremes on Love.
Out of a great Curiosity,—A Shepherd did demand of me.
—No, no,—A Shepherd this implor'd of me.—
[Scratches out, and Writes a new.
Ay, ay, so it shall go.—Tell me, said he,— Can you Resign?—Resign, ay,—what shall Rhime to Resign?—Tell me, said he,—
[She lays down the Tablets, and walks about.
[Harlequin, peeps from under the Table, takes the Book, writes in it, and lays it up before she can turn.
[Reads.] Ay, Ay,—So it shall be,—Tell me, said he, my Bellemante;—Will you be kind to your Charmante?
[Reads those two Lines, and is amaz'd.
—Ha,—Heav'ns! What's this? I am amaz'd! —And yet I'll venture once more.—[Writes and studies. [Writes.]— I blush'd, and veil'd my wishing Eyes.
[Lays down the Book, and walks as before.
[Har. Writes as before.
[Har. writes.]—And answer'd only with my Sighs.
—Ha,—What is this? Witchcraft or some Divinity of Love? some Cupid sure invisible.— Once more I'll try the Charm.—
[Bell. writes.]—Cou'd I a better way my Love impart?
[Studies and walks.
[He writes as before.
[Har. wri.]—And without speaking, tell him all my Heart.
—'Tis here again, but where's the Hand that writ it?
Enter Charmante. She hides the Tablet, he steps to her, and snatches it from her and Reads.
Away, my Name was put here for a blind. What Rhiming Fop have you been clubbing Wit withal?
Ah, mon Dieu!—Charmante Jealous!
Have I not cause?—Who writ these Boremes?
Some kind assisting Deity, for ought I know.
Some kind assisting Coxcomb, that I know, The Ink's yet wet, the Spark is near I find.—
Ah, Maluruse! How was I mistaken in this Man?
Mistaken! What, did you take me for, an easie Fool to be impos'd upon?—One that wou'd be cuckolded by every feather'd Fool; that you shou'd call a—Beau un Gallant Huome. 'sdeath! Who wou'd doat upon a fond She-Fop?—A vain conceited Amorous Cocquett.
Enter Scaramouch, running.
Oh Madam! hide your Lover, or we are all undone.
I will not hide, till I know the thing that made the Verses.
She's coming Sir.—Where, where shall I hide him?—Oh, the Closet's open!
Oh Neece! Ill Luck, Ill Luck, I must leave you to night; my Brother
the Advocate is sick, and has sent for me; 'tis three long Leagues,
and dark as 'tis, I must go.—They say he's dying. [Pulls out his;
Keys one falls down. Here, take my Keys, and go into my Study,
and look over all my Papers, and bring me all those Mark'd with a
Cross and Figure of Three, they concern my Brother and I.
[She looks on Scaramouch, and makes pitiful Signs, and goes out.
—Come Scaramouch, and get me ready for my Journey, and on your Life, let not a Door be open'd till my Return.
Enter Mopsophil. Har. peeps from under the Table.
Ha! Mopsophil, and alone!
Well, 'tis a delicious thing to be Rich; what a World of Lovers it invites: I have one for every Hand, and the Favorite for my Lips.
Ay, him wou'd I be glad to know.
But of all my Lovers, I am for the Farmers Son, because he keeps a Calash—and I'll swear a Coach is the most agreeable thing about a man.
Ah me,—What's that?
The Ghost of a poor Lover, dwindl'd into a Hey-ho.
Ha, my Rival and my Mistriss!— Is this done like a Man of Honour, Monsieur Harlequin, To take Advantages to injure me?
All Advantages are lawful in Love and War.
'Twas contrary to our League and Covenant; therefore I defy thee as a Traytor.
I scorn to fight with thee, because I once call'd thee Brother.
Then thou'rt a Paltroon; that's to say, a Coward.
Coward, nay, then I am provok'd, come on—
Pardon me, Sir, I gave the Coward, and you ought to strike.
[They go to fight ridiculously, and ever as Scaramouch passes, Harlequin leaps aside, and skips so nimbly about, he cannot touch him for his Life; which after a while endeavouring in vain, he lays down his Sword.
—If you be for dancing, Sir, I have my Weapons for all occasions.
He my Bone Ame—Is not this better than Duelling?
But not altogether so Heroick, Sir. Well, for the future, let us have fair Play; no Tricks to undermine each other, but which of us is chosen to be the happy Man, the other shall be content.
Cousin Bellemante, Cousin.
'Slife, let's be gone, lest we be seen in the Ladies Apartment.
How now, how came you here?—
I came to tell you, Madam, my Master's just taking Mule to go his Journey to Night, and that Don Cinthio is in the Street, for a lucky moment to enter in.
But what if any one by my Fathers Order, or he himself, shou'd by some chance surprise us?
If we be, I have taken order against a Discovery. I'll go see if the old Gentleman be gone, and return with your Lover.
I tremble, but know not whether 'tis with Fear or Joy.
My dear Elaria—
[Runs to imbrace her, she starts from him.
—Ha,—shun my Arms, Elaria!
Heavens! Why did you come so soon?
Is it too soon, when ere 'tis safe, Elaria?
I die with fear—Met you not Scaramouch? He went to bid you wait a while; What shall I do?
Why this Concern? none of the House has seen me. I saw your Father taking Horse.
Sure you mistake, methinks I hear his Voice.
—My Key—The Key of my Laboratory.— Why, Knave Scaramouch , where are you?—
Do you hear that, Sir?—Oh, I'm undone! Where shall I hide
[She searches where to hide him.
—Ha,—my Cousins Closet's open,—step in a little.—
Here I must have dropt it; a Light, a Light— there—
Enter Cinthio from the Closet, pulls Charmante out they not knowing each other.
Oh this perfidious Woman! no marvel she was so surpris'd and angry at my Approach to Night.—
Who can this be?—but I'll be prepar'd—
Why Scaramouch, Knave, a Light!
[Turns to the Door to call.
Enter Scaramouch with a Light, and seeing the two Lovers there, runs against his Master, puts out the Candle, and flings him down, and falls over him. At the entrance of the Candle, Charmante slipt from Cinthio into the Closet. Cinthio gropes to find him; when Mopsophil and Elaria, hearing a great Noise, enter with a Light. Cinthio finding he was discover'd, falls to acting a Mad Man. Scaramouch helps up the Doctor, and bows.—Ha,—a Man,—and in my House,— Oh dire Misfortune!—Who are you, Sir?
And I'll convert that Coxcomb, and that Block-head, into, Your Honour, and Right Worshipful.
Mad, stark mad! Why Sirrah, Rogue—Scaramouch —How got this mad Man in?
Oh, thou perfidious Maid! Who hast thou hid in yonder conscious Closet?
Why Sir, he was brought in a Chair for your Advice, but how he rambl'd from the Parlour to this Chamber, I know not.
Alas poor Gentleman, he's past all Cure—But Sirrah, for the future, take you care that no young mad Patients be brought into my House.
I shall Sir,—and see—here's your Key you look'd for.—
That's well; I must be gone—Bar up the Doors, and upon Life or Death let no man enter.
Who the Devil cou'd that be that pull'd me from the Closet? but at last I'm free, and the Doctors gone; I'll to Cinthio, and bring him to pass this Night with our Mistrisses.
As he is gone off, enter Cinthio groping.
Now for this lucky Rival, if his Stars will make this last part of his Adventure such. I hid my self in the next Chamber, till I heard the Doctor go, only to return to be reveng'd.
Enter Elaria with a Light.
Scaramouch tells me Charmante is conceal'd in the
Closet, whom Cinthio surely has mistaken for some Lover of
mine, and is jealous; but I'll send Charmante after him, to
make my peace and undeceive him.
[Goes to the Door.
—Sir, Sir, Where are you? they are all gone, you may adventure out.
[Cinthio comes out.
'Tis well your Lover had the Dexterity of escaping, I'd spoil'd his making Love else.
Prethee hear me.
—But since my Ignorance of his Person saves his Life, live and possess him, till I can discover him.
An Antick Dance.
After the Musick has plaid. Enter Elaria to her Bellemante.
Heavens Bellemante! Where have you been?
Fatigu'd with the most disagreeable Affair, for a Person of my Humour, in the World. Oh, how I hate Business, which I do no more mind, than a Spark does the Sermon, who is ogling his Mistriss at Church all the while: I have been ruffling over twenty Reams of Paper for my Uncles Writings.—
So, so, the Old Gentleman is departed this wicked World, and the House is our own for this Night.— Where are the Sparks? Where are the Sparks?
Nay, Heaven knows.
How! I hope not so; I left Charmante confin'd to my Closet, when my Uncle had like to have surpriz'd us together: Is he not here?—
No, he's escap'd, but he has made sweet doings.
Heavens Cousin! What?
My Father was coming into the Chamber, and had like to have taken Cinthio with me, when, to conceal him, I put him into your Closet, not knowing of Charmante's being there, and which, in the Dark, he took for a Gallant of mine; had not my Fathers Presence hinder'd, I believe there had been Murder committed; how ever, they both escap'd unknown.
Pshaw, is this all? Lovers Quarrels are soon adjusted; I'll to 'em, unfold the Riddle, and bring 'em back— take no care, but go in and dress you for the Ball; Mopsophil has Habits which your Lovers sent to put on: the Fidles Treat, and all are prepar'd.—
Madam, your Cousin Florinda, with a Lady, are come to visit you.
I'm glad on't, 'tis a good Wench, and we'll trust her with our Mirth and Secret.
Enter Page with a Flambeaux, follow'd by Cinthio; passes over the Stage. Scaramouch follows Cinthio in a Campaign Coat.
'Tis Cinthio—Don Cinthio—
[Calls, he turns.
—Well, whats the Quarrel?—How fell ye out?
You may inform your self I believe, for these close Intrigues cannot be carried on without your Knowledge.
What Intrigues Sir? be quick, for I'm in hast.
Who was the Lover I surpris'd i'th' Closet?
Deceptio visus, Sir; the Error of the Eyes.
Thou Dog,—I felt him too; but since the Rascal scaped me—I'll be Reveng'd on thee—
Ay, we that spend our Lives and Fortunes here to serve you,—to be us'd like Pimps and Scowndrels.— Come Sir,—satisfie him who 'twas was hid i'th Closet, when he came in and found you.
Ha,—is't possible? Was it Charmante?
Was it you, Cinthio? Pox on't, what Fools are we, we cou'd not know one another by Instinct?
Well, well, dispute no more this clear Case, but lets hasten to your Mistrisses.
I'm asham'd to appear before Elaria.
And I to Bellemante.
Come, come, take Heart of Grace; pull your Hats down over your Eyes; put your Arms across; sigh and look scurvily; your simple Looks are ever a Token of Repentance; come—come along.
The Front of the Scene is only a Curtain or Hangings to be drawn up at Pleasure.
Enter Elaria, Bellemante Mopsophil, and Ladies, dress'd in Masking Habits.
I am extreamly pleas'd with these Habits, Cousin.
They are A la Gothic and Uncomune.
Your Lovers have a very good Fancy, Cousin, I long to see 'em.
And so do I. I wonder Scaramouch stays so, and what Success he has.
you have no cause to doubt, you can so easily acquit your self; but I, what shall I do? who can no more imagine who shou'd write those Boremes, than who I shall love next, if I break off with Charmante .
If he be a Man of Honour, Cousin, when a Maid protests her Innocence—
Ay, but he's a Man of Wit too, Cousin, and knows when Women protest most, they likely lye most.
Most commonly, for Truth needs no asseveration.
That's according to the Disposition of your Lover, for some believe you most, when you most abuse and cheat 'em; some are so obstinate, they wou'd damn a Woman with protesting, before she can convince 'em.
Such a one is not worth convincing, I wou'd not make the World wise at the expence of a Vertue.
Nay, he shall e'en remain as Heaven made him for me, since there are Men enough for all uses.
Enter Charmante and Cinthio, dress'd in their Gothic Habits. Scaramouch, Harlequin and Musick. Charmante and Cinthio kneel.
Can you forgive us?
That, Cinthio, you're convinc'd, I do not wonder; but how Charmante's Goodness is inspir'd, I know not.
Let it suffice, I'me satisfy'd, my Bellemante.
Pray' know my Cousin Florinda.
Come, let us not lose time, since we are all Friends.
The best use we can make of it, is to talk of Love.
Oh! we shall have time enough for that hereafter; besides, you may make Love in Dancing as well as in Sitting; you may Gaze, Sigh,—and press the Hand, and now and then receive a Kiss, what wou'd you more?
Yes, wish a little more.
We were unreasonable to forbid you that cold Joy, nor shall you wish long in vain, if you bring Matters so about, to get us with my Uncle's Consent.
Our Fortunes depending solely on his Pleasure, which is too considerable to lose.
All things are order'd as I have written you at large; our Scenes and all our Properties are ready; we have no more to do but to banter the old Gentleman into a little more Faith, which the next Visit of our new Caballist Charmante will compleat.
Enter some Anticks and dance. They all sit the while.
Your Dancers have perform'd well, but 'twere fit we knew who we have trusted with this Evenings Intrigue.
Those, Madam, who are to assist us in carrying on a greater Intrigue, the gaining of you. They are our Kinsmen.
Then they are doubly-welcome.
Hark, what Noise is that? sure 'tis in the next Room.
Ha,—the Devil in the likeness of my old Masters Voice, for 'tis impossible it shou'd be he himself.
If it be he, how got he in? did you not secure the Doors?
He always has a Key to open 'em. Oh! what shall we do? there's no escaping him; he's in the next Room, through which you are to pass.
Scaramouch, Knave, where are you?
'Tis he, 'tis he, follow me all—
I tell you Sirrah, I heard the Noise of Fiddles.
No surely Sir, 'twas a Mistake.
Enter the Doctor and Peter with a Light.
Bless me, Sir! Is it you,—or your Ghost.
'Twere good for you, Sir, if I were a thing of Air; but as I am a substantial Mortal, I will lay it on as substantially—
What d'ye mean, Sir? what d'ye mean?
Sirrah, must I stand waiting your Leisure, while you are Rogueing here? I will reward ye.
Ay, and I shall deserve it richly, Sir, when you know all.
I guess all, Sirrah, and I heard all, and you shall be rewarded for all. Where have you hid the Fiddles, you Rogue?
Ay, Fiddles, Knave.
Here,—here I heard 'em, thou false Steward of thy Masters Treasure.
Fiddles, Sir! Sure 'twas Wind got into your Head, and whistled in your Ears, riding so late, Sir.
Ay, thou false Varlot, there's another Debt I owe thee, for bringing me so damnable a Lye: My Brother's well—I met his Valet but a League from Town, and found thy Rogury out.
Is this the Reward I have for being so diligent since you went?
In what, thou Villain? in what?
Why look you, Sir, I have, to surprise you with Pleasure, against you came home, been putting up this Piece of Tapestry, the best in Italy, for the Rareness of the Figures, Sir.
Ha—Hum—It is indeed a stately Piece of Work; how came I by 'em?
'Twas sent your Reverence from the Vertuoso, or some of the Caballists.
I must confess, the Workmanship is excellent,— but still I do insist I heard the Musick.
'Twas then the tuning of the Spheres, some serinade, Sir, from the Inhabitants of the Moon.
Hum,—from the Moon,—and that may be—
Lord, d'ye think I wou'd deceive your Reverence?
From the Moon, a Serinade,—I see no signs on't here, indeed it
must be so—I'll think on't more at leisure.—
—Prithee what Story's this?
Hold up the Candles higher, and nearer.
What was that struck me?
Struck you, Sir! Imagination.
Can my Imagination feel, Sirrah?
Oh, the most tenderly of any part about one, Sir!
Hum—That may be—
Are you a great Philosopher, and know not that, Sir?
This Fellow has a glimpse of Profundity—
[Aside. Looks again.
—I like the Figures well.
You will, when you See 'em by Day-light, Sir.
Ha,—Is that Imagination too—Betray'd, betray'd, undone; run for my Pistols, call up my Servants Peter, a Plot upon my Daughter and my Neece.
Here, here, fear nothing, hold by each other, that when I go out, all may go; that is, slip out, when you hear the Doctor is come in again, which he will certainly do, and all depart to your respective Lodgings.
And leave thee to bear the Brunt?
Take you no care for that, I'll put it into my Bill of Charges, and be paid all together.
Enter the Doctor with Pistols, and Peter.
What, by dark? that shall not save you, Villains, Traytors to my Glory and Repose.—Peter, hold fast the Door, let none escape.
I'll warrant you, Sir.
Lights there—Lights—I'm sure they cou'd not scape.
Enter Scaramouch undress'd in his Shirt, with a Light. Starts.
Bless me!—what's here?
Ha,—Who art thou?
I, who the Devil are you, and you go to that.
[Rubs his Eyes, and brings the Candle nearer. Looks on him.
—Mercy upon us!—Why what is't you, Sir, return'd so soon?
Ay Sir, Did you not go out of Town last night, to your Brother the Advocate?
Thou Villain, thou question'st me, as if thou knew'st not that I was return'd.
I know, Sir! how shou'd I know? I'm sure I am but just wak'd from the sweetest Dream—
You dream still, Sirrah, but I shall wake your Rogueship.—Were you not here but now, shewing me a piece of Tapestry, you Villain?—
Yes Rogue, yes, for which I'll have thy Life—
Are you stark mad, Sir? or do I dream still?
Tell me, and tell me quickly, Rogue, who were those Traytors that were hid but now in the Disguise of a piece of Hangings.
Bless me! you amaze me, Sir. What conformity has every Word you say, to my rare Dream: Pray let me feel you, Sir,—Are you Humane?
You shall feel I am, Sirrah, if thou confess not.
Confess, Sir! What shou'd I confess?—I understand not your Caballistical Language; but in mine, I confess that you have wak'd me from the rarest Dream— Where methought the Emperor of the Moon World was in our House, Dancing and Revelling; and methoughts his Grace was fallen desperately in Love with Mistriss Elaria, and that his Brother, the Prince, Sir, of Thunderland, was also in Love with Mistriss Bellemante; and methoughts they descended to court 'em in your Absence.—And that at last you surpris'd 'em, and that they transform'd themselves into a Suit of Hangings to deceive you. But at last, methought you grew angry at something, and they all sled to Heaven again; and after a deal of Thunder and Lightning, I wak'd, Sir, and hearing Humane Voices here, came to see what the Matter was.
May I credit this?
Credit it! By all the Honour of your House, by my unseparable Veneration for the Mathematicks, 'tis true, Sir.
—That famous Rosacrusian, who yesterday visited me, told
me—the Emperor of the Moon was in Love with a fair Mortal—This
Dream is Inspiration in this Fellow—He must have wonderous Vertue
in him, to be worthy of these Divine Intelligences.
—But if that Mortal shou'd be Elaria! but no more, I dare not yet suppose it—perhaps the thing was real and no Dream, for oftentimes the grosser part is hurried away in Sleep, by the force of Imagination, and is wonderfully agitated—This Fellow might be present in his Sleep,—of this we've frequent Instances—I'll to my Daughter and my Neece, and hear what knowledge they may have of this.
Will you so? I'll secure you, the Frolick shall go round.
Scaramouch, If you have not deceiv'd me in this Matter, time will convince me farther; if it rest here, I shall believe you false—
Good Sir, suspend your Judgment and your Anger then.
I'll do't, go back to Bed—
No, Sir, 'tis Morning now—and I'm up for all day. —This Madness is a pretty sort of a pleasant Disease, when it tickles but in one Vein—Why here's my Master now, as great a Scholar, as grave and wise a Man, in all Argument and Discourse, as can be met with, yet name but the Moon, and he runs into Ridicule, and grows as mad as the Wind.
SCENE Draws off. Discovers Elaria, Bellemante, and Mopsophil in Night-Gowns.
You have your Lessons, stand to it bravely, and the Towns our own, Madam.
Enter Doctor, softly.
Ha, not in Bed! this gives me mortal Fears.
How little Faith I give to all your Courtship, who leaves our Orb so soon.
The Moon, the Moon she means, I am Transported, Over-joy'd, and Ecstacy'd.
Ha, my Uncle come again to interrupt us!
Hide nothing from me, my dear Bellemante, since all already is discover'd to me—and more.—
Oh, why have you wak'd me from the softest Dream that ever Maid was blest with?
What—what my best Elaria?
Methought I entertain'd a Demi-God, one of the gay Inhabitants of the Moon.
I'm sure mine was no Dream—I wak'd, I heard, I saw, I spoke—and danc'd to the Musick of the Spheres, and methought my glorious Lover ty'd a Diamond Chain about my Arm—and see 'tis all substantial.
And mine a Ring, of more than mortal Lustre.
Heaven keep me moderate! least excess of Joy shou'd make my Vertue less.
—How this agrees with what the learned Caballist inform'd me of last Night! He said, that great Iredonozor, the Emperor of the Moon, was inamour'd on a fair Mortal. It must be so—and either he descended to Court my Daughter Personally, which, for the Rareness of the Novelty, she takes to be a Dream; or else, what they and I beheld, was Visionary, by way of a sublime Intelligence.—And possibly —'tis only thus—the People of that World converse with Mortals.—I must be satisfy'd in this main Point of deep Philosophy.
Enter Scaramouch with a Ladder.
Tho' I am come off en Cavalier with my Master, I am not with my Mistriss, whom I promised to console this Night, and is but just I shou'd make good this Morning; 'twill be rude to surprize her Sleeping, and more Gallant to wake her with a Serinade at her Window.
Enter Mopsophil above.
Enter Harlequin in Womens Cloths.
If I can now but get admittance, I shall not only deliver the young Ladies their Letters from their Lovers, but get some opportunity, in this Disguise, to slip this Billet Deux into Mopsophil 's Hand, and bob my Comrade Scaramouch.—Ha,—What do I see?—My Mistriss at the Window, courting my Rival! Ah Gypsie!—
—But we lose precious time, since you design me a kind Hour in your Chamber.
You'll be sure to keep it from Harlequin.
Ah yes, he, hang him Fool, he takes you for a Saint.
Harlequin!—Hang him, shotten Herring.
Ay, a Cully, a Noddy.
A meer Zany.
Ah, hard hearted Turk.
Fit for nothing but a Cuckold.
Monster of Ingratitude! How shall I be reveng'd?
[Scar. going over the Balcony.
—Hold, hold, thou perjur'd Traytor.
Ha,—Discover'd!—A Woman in the Garden!
Come down, come down, thou false perfidious Wretch.
Whom shou'd I mean, but thou—my lawful Spouse?
Oh Villain!—Lawful Spouse!—Let me come to her.
The Woman's mad—hark ye Jade—how long have you been thus distracted?
E're since I lov'd and trusted thee, false Varlot. —See here,—the Witness of my Love and Shame.
Just then Mopsophil enters.
How! with Child!—Out Villain, was I made a Property?
Oh, thou Heathen Christian!—Was not one Woman enough?
Ay, Sirrah, answer to that.
I shall be sacrific'd.—
I am resolv'd to marry to morrow—either to the Apothecary or the Farmer, men I never saw, to be reveng'd on thee, thou tarmagant Infidel.
Enter the Doctor.
What Noise, what Out-cry, what Tumult's this?
Ha,—the Doctor!—What shall I do?—
A Woman!—some Bawd I am sure— Woman, what's your Business here?—ha—
I came, an't like your Seigniorship, to Madam the Governante here, to serve her in the Quality of a Fille de Chambre, to the young Ladies.
A Fille de Chambre! 'tis so, a she Pimp,—
How now, what do you mock me?
Stay, stay, Mistriss, and what Service are you able to do the Seigniors Daughters?
Is this Seignior Doctor Baliardo, Madam?
Oh! He's a very handsome Gentleman— indeed—
Ay, ay, what Service can you do, Mistriss?
Why Seignior, I can tye a Cravat the best of any Person in Naples , and I can comb a Periwig—and I can—
Very proper Service for young Ladies; you, I believe, have been Fille de Chambre to some young Cavaliers.
Most true, Seignior, why shou'd not the Cavaliers keep Filles de Chambre, as well as great Ladies Vallets de Chambre?
Indeed 'tis equally reasonable.—'Tis a Bawd.—
—But have you never serv'd Ladies?
Oh yes! I serv'd a Parsons Wife.
Is that a great Lady?
I surely, Sir, what is she else? for she wore her Mantoes of Brokad de or, Petticoats lac'd up to the Gathers, her Points, her Patches, Paints and Perfumes, and sate in the uppermost Place in the Church to.
But have you never serv'd Countesses and Dutchesses?
Oh, yes, Madam! the last I serv'd, was an Aldermans Wife in the City.
Was that a Countess or a Dutchess?
Ay, certainly—for they have all the Money and then for Cloths, Jewels, and rich Furniture, and eating, they outdo the very Vice Reigne her self.
This is a very ignorant running Bawd,—therefore first search her for Bellets Deux, and then have her Pump'd.
—Ha,—to Elaria—and Bellemante?—
[Reads the Outside, pops 'em into his Bosom.
—These are from their Lovers— —Ha,—a Note to Mopsophil ,—Oh, Rogue! have I found you?—
If you have, 'tis but Trick for your Trick, Seignior Scaramouch , and you may spare the Pumping.
For once, Sirrah, I'll bring you off, and deliver your Letters.—Sir, do you not know who this is?— Why 'tis a Rival of mine, who put on this Disguise to cheat me of Mistriss Mopsophil .—See hear's a Billet to her.—
What is he?
A Mungrel Dancing-Master; therefore, Sir, since all the Injury's mine, I'll pardon him for a Dance, and let the Agility of his Heels save his Bones, with your Permission, Sir.
With all my Heart, and am glad he comes off so comically.
Sir, Sir, here's the rare Philosopher who was here yesterday.
Give him Entrance, and all depart.
Blest be those Stars! that first conducted me to so much Worth and Vertue, you are their Darling, Sir, for whom they wear their brightest Lustre. Your Fortune is establish'd, you are made, Sir.
Let me contain my Joy—
[Keeping in an impatient Joy.
—May I be worthy, Sir, to apprehend you?
After long Searching, Watching, Fasting, Praying, and using all the vertuous means in Nature, whereby we solely do attain the highest Knowledge in Philosophy; it was resolv'd, by strong Intelligence—you were the happy Sire of that Bright Nymph, that had infascinated, charm'd and conquer'd the mighty Emperor Iredonozor —the Monarch of the Moon.
I am undone with Joy! ruin'd with Transport—
—Can it—can it, Sir,—be possible—
Hum—Say you so, Sir? no Emperor ever descend this Sixty hundred
—Was I deceiv'd last night?
Oh! Yes, Sir, often in disguise, in several Shapes and Forms, which did of old occasion so many Fabulous Tales of all the Shapes of Jupiter—but never in their proper Glory, Sir, as Emperors. This is an Honour only design'd to you.
And will his Grace—be here in Person, Sir?
In Person—and with him, a Man of mighty Quality, Sir,—'tis thought—the Prince of Thunderland —but that's but whisper'd, Sir, in the Cabal, and that he loves your Neece.
Miraculous! how this agrees with all I've seen and heard—To Night, say you, Sir?
So 'tis conjectur'd, Sir,—some of the Caballist —are of opinion—that last night there was some Sally from the Moon.
About what hour, Sir?
The Meridian of the Night, Sir, about the hours of twelve or one, but who descended, or in what Shape, is yet uncertain.
This I believe, Sir.
May I communicate a Secret of that Nature?
To any of the Caballist, but none else.
Then know—last night, my Daughter and my Neece were entertain'd by those illustrious Heroes.
Who, Sir? the Emperor and Prince his Cousin.
Most certain, Sir. But whether they appear'd in solid Bodies, or Fantomical, is yet a Question, for at my unlucky approach, they all transform'd themselves into a Piece of Hangings.
'Tis frequent, Sir, their Shapes are numerous, and 'tis also in their Power to transform all they touch, by vertue of a certain Stone—they call the Ebula.
That wondrous Ebula, which Gonzales had?
The same—by Vertue of which, all weight was taken from him, and then with ease the lofty Traveller flew from Parnassus Hill, and from Hymethus Mount, and high Gerania, and Acrocorinthus, thence to Taygetus, so to Olympus Top, from whence he had but one step to the Moon. Dizzy he grants he was.
No wonder, Sir, Oh happy great Gonzales!
Your Vertue, Sir, will render you as happy— but I must hast—this Night prepare your Daughter and your Neece, and let your House be Dress'd, Perfum'd, and Clean.
It shall be all perform'd, Sir.
Be modest, Sir, and humble in your Elevation, for nothing shews the Wit so poor, as Wonder, nor Birth so mean, as Pride.
I humbly thank your Admonition, Sir, and shall, in all I can, struggle with Humane Frailty.
Enter Scaramouch peeping at the other Door.
So, so, all things go gloriously forward, but my own Amour, and there is no convincing this obstinate Woman, that 'twas that Rogue Harlequin in Disguise, that claim'd me; so that I cannot so much as come to deliver the young Ladies their Letters from their Lovers. I must get in with this damn'd Mistriss of mine, or all our Plot will be spoil'd for want of Intelligence. —Hum,—The Devil does not use to sail me at a dead Lift. I must deliver these Letters, and I must have this Wench—tho' but to be reveng'd on her for abusing me.—Let me see—she is resolv'd for the Apothecary or the Farmer. Well, say no more honest Scaramouch, thou shalt find a Friend at need of me— and if I do not fit you with a Spouse, say that a Woman has out-witted me.
The Street, with the Town Gate, where an Officer stands with a Staff like a London Constable.
Enter Harlequin riding in a Calash, comes through the Gate towards the Stage, dress'd like a Gentleman sitting in it. The Officer lays hold of his Horse.
Hold, hold, Sir, you, I suppose know the Customs that are due to this City of Naples, from all Persons that pass the Gates in Coach, Chariot, Calash, or Siege Voglant.
I am not ignorant of the Custom, Sir, but what's that to me?
Not to you, Sir! why, what Privilege have you above the rest?
Privilege, for what, Sir?
Why for passing, Sir, with any of the before named Carriages.
Ar't mad?—Dost not see I am a plain Baker, and this my Cart, that comes to carry Bread for the Vice-Roy's, and the Cities Use?—ha—
Are you mad, Sir, to think I cannot see a Gentleman Farmer and a Calash, from a Baker and a Cart?
Drunk by this Day—and so early too? Oh you're a special Officer; unhand my Horse, Sirrah, or you shall pay for all the Damage you do me.
Hey day! here's a fine Cheat upon the Vice Roy; Sir, pay me, or
I'll seize your Horse.—
[Har. strikes him.
They scuffle a little.
—Nay, and you be so brisk, I'll call the Clerk from his Office.
Calls.—Mr. Clerk, Mr. Clerk.
What's the matter here?—
Here's a Fellow, Sir, will perswade me, his Calash is a Cart, and refuses the Customs for passing the Gate.
A Calash—Where?—I see only a Carter and his Cart.
Ha,—What a Devil, was I blind?
Mr. Clerk, I am a Baker, that come with Bread to sell, and this Fellow here has stopt me this hour, and made me lose the Sale of my Ware—and being Drunk, will out-face me I am a Farmer, and this Cart a Calash.—
He's in an Errour Friend, pass on—
No Sir, I'll have satisfaction first, or the Vice-Roy shall know how he's serv'd by drunken Officers, that Nuisance to a Civil Government.
What do you demand, Friend?
Demand,—I demand a Crown, Sir.
This is very hard—Mr. Clerk—If ever I saw in my Life, I thought I saw a Gentleman and a Calash.
Come, come, gratifie him, and see better hereafter.
Here Sir,—If I must, I must—
Pass on, Friend—
Hum, I'll swear it is a Calash—Mr. Clerk, Mr. Clerk, come back,
[Runs out to call him. He changes as before.
Enter Officer and Clerk.—Come Sir, let your own Eyes convince you, Sir.—
Convince me, of what, you Sott?
That this is a Gentleman, and that a—ha,—
Stark Drunk, Sirrah! if you trouble me at every Mistake of yours thus, you shall quit your Office.—
I beg your Pardon, Sir, I am a little in Drink I confess, a little
Blind and Mad—Sir,—This must be the Devil, that's certain.
[The Clerk goes out, Har. puts up his Calash again, and pulls off his Frock and drives out.
—Well, now to my thinking, 'tis as plain a Calash again, as ever I saw in my Life, and yet I'm satisfy'd 'tis nothing but a Cart.
Enter Scaramouch in a Chair, which set down and open'd, on all sides, and on the top represents an Apothecaries Shop, the Inside being painted with Shelves and Rows of Pots and Bottles; Scaramouch sitting in it dress'd in Black, with a short black Cloak, a Ruff, and little Hat.
The Devil's in't, if either the Doctor, my Master, or
Mopsophil, know me in this Disguise —And thus I may not only
gain my Mistriss, and out-wit Harlequin, but deliver the Ladies
those Letters from their Lovers, which I took out of his Pocket this
Morning, and who wou'd suspect an Apothecary for a Pimp.—Nor can the
Jade Mopsophil, in Honour, refuse a Person of my Gravity, and
so well set up.—
[Pointing to his Shop.
—Hum, the Doctor here first, this is not so well, but I'm prepar'd with Impudence for all Encounters.
Enter the Doctor. Scaramouch Salutes him gravely.—Most Reverend Doctor Baliardo.—
I might, through great Pusillanimity, blush— to give you this Anxiety. Did I not opine you were as Gracious as Communitive and Eminent; and tho' you have no Cognisance of me, your Humble Servant,— yet I have of you,—you being so greatly sam'd for your admirable Skill, both in Gallenical and Paracelsian Phænomena's , and other approv'd Felicities in Vulnerary Emeticks, and purgative Experiences.
Seignior,—your Opinion honours me—a rare Man this.
And though I am at present busied in writing— those few Observations I have accumulated in my Peregrinations, Sir, yet the Ambition I aspir'd to, of being an Ocular and Aurial Witness of your Singularity, made me trespass on your sublimer Affairs.
—Besides a violent Inclination, Sir, of being initiated into the Denomination of your Learned Family, by the Conjugal Circumference of a Matrimonial Tye, with that singularly accomplish'd Person—Madam, the Governante of your Hostel.
Hum—A sweet-heart for Mopsophil!
And if I may obtain your Condescension to my Hymenæal Propositions, I doubt not my Operation with the Fair One.
Seignior, she is much honour'd in the Overture, and my Abilities shall not be wanting to fix the Concord. —But have you been a Traveller, Sir?
Without Circumlocutions, Sir, I have seen all the Regions beneath the Sun and Moon.
Moon, Sir! You never travell'd thither, Sir?
Not in Propria Persona, Seignior, but by speculation, I have, and made most considerable Remarques on that incomparable Terra Firma, of which I have the compleatest Map in Christendom—and which Gonzales himself omitted in his Cosmographia of the Lunar Mundus.
A Map of the Lunar Mundus, Sir! May I crave the Honour of seeing it?
You shall, Sir, together with a Map of Terra Incognita, a great Rarety, indeed, Sir.
Jewels, Sir, worth a Kings Ransome.
Ha,—What Figure of a Thing have we here—Bantering my Credulous Uncle?—This must be some Scout sent from our Forlorn Hope, to discover the Enemy, and bring in fresh Intelligence.—Hum,— That Wink tipt me some Tidings, and she deserves not a good Look, who understands not the Language of the Eyes.—Sir, Dinner's on the Table.
Let it wait, I am imploy'd—
Ha,—'tis so,—This fellow has some Novel for us, some Letters or Instructions, but how to get it—
But this Map, Seignior; I protest you have fill'd me with Curiosity. Has it signify'd all things so exactly say you?
Omitted nothing, Seignior, no City, Town, Village or Villa; no Castle, River, Bridge, Lake, Spring or Mineral.
Are any, Sir, of those admirable Mineral Waters there, so frequent in our World?
In abundance, Sir, the Famous Garamanteen, a young Italian , Sir, lately come from thence, gives an account of an excellent Scaturigo, that has lately made an Ebulation there, in great Reputation with the Lunary Ladies.
Indeed, Sir! be pleas'd, Seignior, to 'solve me some Queries that may enode some apparences of the Virtue of the Water you speak of.
Pox upon him, what Questions he asks— but I must on—Why Sir, you must know,—the Tincture of this Water upon Stagnation, Ceruberates, and the Crocus upon the Stones Flaveces; this he observes— to be, Sir, the Indication of a Generous Water.
Now, Sir, be pleas'd to observe the three Regions, if they be bright, without doubt Mars is powerful; if the middle Region or Camera be palled, Filia Solis is breeding.
And then the third Region, if the Fæces be volatil, the Birth will soon come in Balneo. This I observed also in the Laboratory of that Ingenious Chymist Lysidono, and with much Pleasure animadverted that Mineral of the same Zenith and Nader, of that now so famous Water in England, near that famous Metropolis, call'd Islington.
For, Sir, upon the Infusion, the Crows Head immediately procures the Seal of Hermes, and had not Lic Virginis been too soon suck'd up, I believe we might have seen the Consummation of Amalgena.
Most likely, Sir.
But, Sir, this Garamanteen relates the strangest Operation of a Mineral in the Lunar World, that ever I heard of.
As how, I pray, Sir?
Why, Sir, a Water impregnated to a Circulation with Fema Materia ; upon my Honour, Sir, the strongest I ever drank of.
How, Sir! did you drink of it?
I only speak the words of Garamanteen, Sir. —Pox on him, I shall be trapt.
Cry Mercy, Sir.—
The Lunary Physicians, Sir, call it Urinam Vulcani, it Calibrates every ones Excrements more or less according to the Gradus of the Natural Calor.—To my Knowledge, Sir, a Smith of a very fiery Constitution, is grown very Opulent by drinking these Waters.
How, Sir, grown Rich by drinking the Waters, and to your Knowledge?
The Devil's in my Tongue, to my Knowledge, Sir, for what a man of Honour relates, I may safely affirm.
Excuse me, Seignior—
For, Sir, conceive me how he grew Rich, since he drank those Waters he never buys any Iron, but hammers it out of Stercus Proprius.
Enter Bellemante with a Billet.
Sir, 'tis three a Clock, and Dinner will be cold.—
I come Sweet-heart; but this is wonderful.
Ay, Sir, and if at any time Nature be too infirm, and he prove Costive, he has no more to do, but to apply a Load-stone ad Anum .
Most true, Sir, and that facilitates the Journey per Visera .—But I detain you, Sir, another time— Sir,—I will now only beg the Honour of a Word or two with the Governante, before I go.—
Sir, she shall wait on you, and I shall be proud of the Honour of your Conversation.—
Enter to him Harlequin, dress'd like a Farmer, as before.
Hum—What have we here, a Taylor or a Tumbler?
Ha—Who's this?—Hum—What if it shou'd be the Farmer that the
Doctor has promis'd Mopsophil to? My Heart misgives me.
[They look at each other a while.
Who wou'd you speak with, Friend?
This is, perhaps, my Rival, the Apothecary.— Speak with, Sir, why, what's that to you?
Have you Affairs with Seignior Doctor, Sir?
It may be I have, it may be I have not. What then, Sir?—
While they seem in angry Dispute, Enter Mopsophil.
Seignior Doctor tells me I have a Lover waits me, sure it must be the Farmer or the Apothecary. No matter which, so a Lover, that welcomest man alive. I am resolv'd to take the first good Offer, tho' but in Revenge of Harlequin and Scaramouch, for puting Tricks upon me.— Ha,—Two of 'em!
My Mistriss here!
Hold Gentlemen,—do not worry me. Which of you wou'd speak with me?
I, I, I, Madam—
Both of you?
No, Madam, I, I.
If both Lovers, you are both welcome, but let's have fair Play, and take your turns to speak.
Ay, Seignior, 'tis most uncivil to interrupt me.
And disingenious, Sir, to intrude on me.
Let me then speak first.
I was inform'd there was a Person here had Propositions of Marriage to make me.
That's I, that's I—
And I attend to that consequential Finis.
I know not what you mean by your Finis, Seignior, but I am come to offer my self this Gentlewomans Servant, her Lover, her Husband, her Dog in a Halter, or any thing.
Him I pronounce a Paltroon, and an Ignominious Utensil, that dares lay claim to the Renowned Lady of my Primum Mobile; that is, my best Affections.—
I fear not your hard Words, Sir, but dare aloud pronounce, if Donna Mopsophil like me, the Farmer, as well as I like her, 'tis a Match, and my Chariot is ready at the Gate to bear her off, d'ye see.—
Ah, how that Chariot pleads.—
And I pronounce, that being intoxicated with the sweet Eyes of this refulgent Lady, I come to tender her my noblest Particulars, being already most advantageously set up with the circumstantial Implements of my Occupation.
A City Apothecary, a most Gentile Calling— Which shall I chuse?—Seignior Apothecary, I'll not expostulate the Circumstantial Reasons that have occasion'd me this Honour.—
Incomparable Lady, the Elegancy of your Repertees most excellently denote the Profundity of your Capacity.
What the Devil's all this? Good Mr. Conjurer stand by—and don't fright the Gentlewoman with your Elegant Profondities.
How, a Conjurer! I will chastise thy vulgar Ignorance, that yclips a Philosopher a Conjurer.
Losaphers!—Prethee, if thou be'st a Man, speak like a Man—then
Why, What do I speak like? What do I speak like?
What do you speak like—why you speak like a Wheel-Barrow.
Thats well Gentlemen, let's have all Peace, while I survey you
both, and see which likes me best.
[She goes between 'em, and surveys 'em both, they making ridiculous Bows on both sides, and Grimaces the while.
—ha,—now on my Conscience, my two foolish Lovers,— Harlequin and Scaramouch; how are my Hopes defeated?—but Faith I'll fit you both.
So, she's considering still, I shall be the happy Dog.
She's taking aim, she cannot chuse but like me best.
Well, Madam, how does my Person propagate.
Faith Seignior, now I look better on you, I do not like your Phisnomy so well as your Intellects; you discovering some Circumstantial Symptoms that ever denote a Villainous Inconstancy.
Ah, you are pleas'd, Madam.—
You are mistaken, Seignior, I am displeas'd at your Gray Eyes, and Black Eye-brows and Beard, I never knew a Man with those Signs, true to his Mistriss or his Friend. And I wou'd sooner wed that Scoundrel Scaramouch, that very civil Pimp, that meer pair of Chymical Bellows that blow the Doctors projecting Fires, that Deputy-Urinal Shaker, that very Guzman of Salamanca, than a Fellow of your infallible Signum Mallis.
Ha, ha, ha,—you have your Answer, Seignior Friskin—and may shut up your Shop and be gone.—Ha, ha, ha.—
Hum, sure the Jade knows me—
And as for you, Seignior.
Those Lanthorn Jaws of yours, with that most villainous Sneer and Grin, and a certain fierce Aire of your Eyes, looks altogether most Fanatically—which with your notorious Whey Beard, are certain Signs of Knavery and Cowardice; therefore I'd rather wed that Spider Harlequin, that Sceliton Buffoon, that Ape of Man, that Jack of Lent, that very Top, that's of no use, but when 'tis whipt and lasht, that pitious Property I'd rather wed than thee.
A very fair Declaration—
you understand me—and so adieu sweet Glisterpipe, and Seignior dirty Boots, Ha, ha, ha.—
That I shou'd not know that Rogue Harlequin.
That I shou'd take this Fool for a Physician.
—How long have you commenc'd Apothecary, Seignior?
Ever since you turn'd Farmer.—Are not you a damn'd Rogue to put these Tricks upon me, and most dishonorably break all Articles between us?
And are not you a damn'd Son of a—something —to break Articles with me?
No more Words, Sir, no more words, I find it must come to Action,—Draw.—
Draw,—so I can draw, Sir.—
They make a ridiculous cowardly Fight. Enter the Doctor, which they seeing, come on with more Courage. He runs between, and with his Cane beats the Swords down.
Hold—hold—What mean you Gentlemen?
Let me go, Sir, I am provok'd beyond measure, Sir.
You must excuse me, Seignior—
I dare not discover the Fool for his Masters Sake, and it may spoil
our Intrigue anon; besides, he'll then discover me, and I shall be
discarded for bantering the Doctor.
—A Man of Honour to be so basely affronted here.—
Shou'd I discover this Rascal, he wou'd tell the Old Gentleman I was the same that attempted his House to day in Womans Cloths, and I shou'd be kick'd and beaten most unsatiably.
What, Seignior, for a man of Parts to be impos'd upon,—and whipt through the Lungs here—like a Mountebanks Zany for sham Cures—Mr. Doctor, I must tell you 'tis not Civil.
I am extreamly sorry for it, Sir,—and you shall see how I will have this Fellow handled for the Affront to a Person of your Gravity, and in my House— Here Pedro,—
Enter Pedro.—Take this Intruder, or bring some of your Fellows hither, and toss him in a Blanket—
Harkye,—bring me off, or I'll discover all your Intrigue.
Let me alone—
I'll warrant you some Rogue that has some Plot on my Neece and Daughter.—
No, no, Sir, he comes to impose the grossest Lye upon you, that ever was heard of.
Enter Pedro with others, with a Blanket. They put Har. into it, and toss him.
Hold, hold,—I'll confess all, rather than indure it.
Hold,—What will you confess, Sir.
—That he's the greatest Impostor in Nature. Wou'd you think it, Sir? he pretends to be no less than an Ambassador from the Emperor of the Moon, Sir—
Ha,—Ambassador from the Emperor of the Moon—
Ay, Sir, thereupon I laugh'd, thereupon he grew angry,—I laugh'd at his Resentment, and thereupon we drew—and this was the high Quarrel, Sir.
Hum,—Ambassador from the Moon.
I have brought you off, manage him as well as you can.
Brought me off, yes, out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire. Why, how the Devil shall I act an Ambassador?
It must be so, for how shou'd either of these know I expected that
[He addresses him with profound Civility to Har.
Sir, if the Figure you make, approaching so near ours of this World, have made us commit any undecent Indignity to your high Character, you ought to pardon the Frailty of our Mortal Education and Ignorance, having never before been blest with the Descention of any from your World.—
What the Devil shall I say now?
—I confess, I am as you see by my Garb, Sir, a little Incognito, because the Publick Message I bring, is very private —which is, that the mighty Iredonozor, Emperor of the Moon—with his most worthy Brother, the Prince of Thunderland, intend to Sup with you to Night— Therefore be sure you get good Wine.—Tho' by the way let me tell you, 'tis for the Sake of your Fair Daughter.
I'll leave the Rogue to his own Management.— I presume, by your whispering, Sir, you wou'd be private, and humbly beging Pardon, take my Leave.
You have it Friend. Does your Neece and Daughter Drink, Sir?
Ay, Sir, Drink hard.
Do the Women of your World drink hard, Sir?
According to their Quality, Sir, more or less; the greater the Quality, the more Profuse the Quantity.
Why that's just as 'tis here; but your Men of Quality, your States-men, Sir, I presume they are Sober, Learned and Wise.
Faith, no, Sir, but they are, for the most part, what's as good, very Proud, and promising, Sir, most liberal of their Word to every fauning Suiter, to purchase the state of long Attendance, and cringing as they pass; but the Devil of a Performance, without you get the Knack of bribing in the right Place and Time; but yet they all defy it, Sir.—
Just, just as 'tis here. —But pray Sir, How do these Great Men live with their Wives.
Most Nobly, Sir, my Lord keeps his Coach, my Lady, hers; my Lord his Bed, my Lady hers; and very rarely see one another, unless they chance to meet in a Visit, in the Park, the Mall, the Toore, or at the Basset-Table, where they civilly Salute and part, he to his Mistriss, she to play.
Good lack! just as 'tis here.
—Where, if she chance to lose her Money, rather than give out, she borrows of the next Amorous Coxcomb, who, from that Minute, hopes, and is sure to be paid again one way or other, the next kind Opportunity.
—Just as 'tis here.
As for the young Fellows that have Money, they have no Mercy upon their own Persons, but wearing Nature off as fast as they can, Swear, and Whore and Drink, and Borrow as long any Rooking Citizen will lend, till having dearly purchased the Heroick Title of a Bully or a Sharper, they live pity'd of their Friends, and despis'd by their Whores, and depart this Transitory World, diverse and sundry ways.
Just, just, as 'tis here!
As for the Citizen, Sir, the Courtier lies with his Wife, he, in revenge, cheats him of his Estate, till Rich enough to marry his Daughter to a Courtier, again give him all—unless his Wives Over-Gallantry break him; and thus the World runs round.—
The very same 'tis here.—Is there no preferment, Sir, for Men of Parts and Merit?
Parts and Merit! What's that? a Livery, or the handsome tying a Cravat, for the great Men prefer none but their Foot-men and Vallets.
By my Troth, just as 'tis here. —Sir, I find you are a Person of most profound Intelligence —under Favour, Sir,—Are you a Native of the Moon or this World.—
The Devils in him for hard Questions. —I am a Naopolitan, Sir.
Sir, I Honour you; good luck, my Countryman How got you to the Region of the Moon, Sir?
—A plaguy inquisitive old Fool— —Why, Sir,—Pox on't, what shall I say?— I being—one day in a musing Melancholy, walking by the Sea-side—there arose, Sir, a great Mist, by the Suns exhaling of the Vapours of the Earth, Sir.
In this Fog or Mist, Sir, I was exhal'd.
The Exalations of the Sun, draw you to the Moon, Sir?
I am condemn'd to the Blanket again.—I say, Sir, I was exhal'd up, but in my way—being too heavy, was dropt into the Sea.
How, Sir, into the Sea?
The Sea, Sir, where the Emperors Fisher-man casting his Nets, drew me up, and took me for a strange and monstrous Fish, Sir,—and as such, presented me to his Mightiness,—who going to have me Spitchcock'd for his own eating.—
How, Sir, eating?—
What did me I, Sir, (Life being sweet) but fall on my Knees, and besought his Gloriousness not to eat me, for I was no Fish but a Man; he ask'd me of what Country, I told him of Naples; whereupon the Emperor overjoy'd ask'd me if I knew that most Reverend and most Learned Doctor Baliardo, and his fair Daughter. I told him I did: whereupon he made me his Bed-fellow, and the Confident to his Amour to Seigniora Elaria.
Bless me, Sir! how came the Emperor to know my Daughter?
—There he is again with his damn'd hard Questions. —Knew her, Sir,—Why—you were walking abroad one day.—
My Daughter never goes abroad, Sir, farther than our Garden.—
Ay, there it was indeed, Sir,—and as his Highness was taking a Survey of this lower World—through a long Perspective, Sir,—he saw you and your Daughter and Neece, and from that very moment, fell most desperately in Love.—But hark—the sound of Timbrils, Kettle-Drums and Trumpets.—The Emperor, Sir, is on his Way,—prepare for his Reception.
I'm in a Rapture—How shall I pay my Gratitude for this great Negotiation?—but as I may, I humbly offer, Sir.—
Sir, as an Honour done the Emperor, I take your Ring and Gold. I must go meet his Highness.—
Enter to him Scaramouch, as himself.
Oh, Sir! we are astonish'd with the dreadful sound of the sweetest Musick that ever Mortal heard, but know not whence it comes. Have you not heard it, Sir?
Heard it, yes, Fool,—'Tis the Musick of the Spheres, the Emperor of the Moon World is descending.
How, Sir, no marvel then, that looking towards the South, I saw such splendid Glories in the Air.
Ha,—saw'st thou ought descending in the Air?
Oh, yes, Sir, Wonders! haste to the old Gallery, whence, with the help of your Telescope, you may discover all.—
I wou'd not lose a moment for the lower Universe.
Enter Elaria, Bellemante, Mopsophil, dress'd in rich Antick Habits.
Sir, we are dress'd as you commanded us, What is your farther Pleasure?
—It well becomes the Honour you're design'd for, this Night to wed two Princes—come with me and know your happy Fates.
Bless me! My Father, in all the rest of his Discourse, shows so much Sense and Reason, I cannot think him mad, but feigns all this to try us.
Not Mad! Marry Heaven forbid, thou art always creating Fears to startle one; why, if he be not mad, his want of Sleep this eight and forty hours, the Noise of strange unheard of Instruments, with the Fantastick Splendor of the unusual Sight, will so turn his Brain and dazle him, that in Grace of Goodness, he may be Mad: If he be not;—come, let's after him to the Gallery, for I long to see in what showing Equipage our Princely Lovers will address to us.
The Gallery richly adorn'd with Scenes and Lights.
Enter Doctor, Elaria, Bellemante, and Mopsophil. Soft Musick is heard.
Ha—Heavens! what's here?—what Palace is this?—No part of our House, I'm sure.—
'Tis rather the Apartment of some Monarch.
I'm all amazement too, but must not show my Ignorance.—Yes, Elaria, this is prepar'd to entertain two Princes.
Are you sure on't, Sir? are we not, think you, in that World above, I often heard you speak of? in the Moon, Sir?
How shall I resolve her?—For ought I know, we are.
Sure, Sir, 'tis some Inchantment.
Let not thy Female Ignorance prophane the highest Mysteries of Natural Philosophy: To Fools it seems Inchantment—but I've a Sense can reach it,—sit and expect the Event.—Hark—I am amaz'd, but must conceal my Wonder—that Joy of Fools— and appear wise in Gravity.
Whence comes this charming Sound, Sir?
From the Spheres—it is familiar to me.
The Scene in the Front draws off, and shews the Hill of Parnassus; a noble large Walk of Trees leading to it, with eight or ten Negroes upon Pedestals, rang'd on each side of the Walks. Next Keplair and Gallileus descend on each side, opposite to each other, in Chariots, with Perspectives in their Hands, as viewing the Machine of the Zodiack. Soft Musick plays still.
Methought I saw the Figure of two Men descend from yonder Cloud, on yonder Hill.
I thought so too, but they are disappear'd, and the wing'd Chariot's fled.
Enter Keplair and Gallileus.
See, Sir, they approach.—
Most Reverend Sir, we, from the upper World, thus low salute you.— Keplair and Gallileus we are call'd, sent as Interpreters to Great Iredonozor, the Emperor of the Moon, who is descending.
Most Reverend Bards—profound Philosophers —thus low I bow to pay my humble Gratitude.
The Emperor, Sir, salutes you, and your fair Daughter.
And, Sir, the Prince of Thunderland salutes you, and your fair Neece.
Thus low I fall to thank their Royal Goodness.
Came you, most Reverend Bards, from the Moon World?
Most Lovely Maid, we did.
May I presume to ask the manner how?
By Cloud, Sir, through the Regions of the Air, down to the fam'd Parnassus; thence by Water, along the River Helicon, the rest by Post, upon two wing'd Eagles.
Sir, are there store of our World inhabiting the Moon?
Oh, of all Nations, Sir, that lie beneath it in the Emperors Train! Sir, you will behold abundance; look up and see the Orbal World descending; observe the Zodiack, Sir, with her twelve Signs.
—See how she turns, and sends her Signs to Earth.— Behold the Ram—Aries—see Taurus next descends; then Gemini —see how the Boys embrace.—Next Cancer, then Leo, then the Virgin; next to her Libra— Scorpio, Sagittary, Capricorn, Aquarius,—Pisces. This eight thousand years no Emperor has descended, but Incognito, but when he does, to make his Journey more Magnificent, the Zodiack, Sir, attends him.
'Tis all amazing, Sir.
Now, Sir, behold, the Globick World descends two thousand Leagues below its wonted Station, to show Obedience to its proper Monarch.
—See, Sir, the Cloud of Foreigners appears, French, English, Spaniards, Danes, Turks, Russians, Indians, and the nearer Climes of Christendom; and lastly, Sir, behold the mighty Emperor.—
The Emperor wou'd have you rise, Sir, he will expect no Ceremony from the Father of his Mistriss.
I cannot, Sir, behold his Mightiness—the Splendor of his Majesty confounds me—
You must be moderate, Sir, it is expected.
Shall I not have the Joy to hear their Heavenly Voices, Sir?
They never speak to any Subject, Sir, when they appear in Royalty, but by Interpreters, and that by way of Stentraphon, in manner of the Delphick Oracles.
Any way, so I may hear the Sence of what they wou'd say.
No doubt you will—But see the Emperor commands by signs his Foreigners to dance—
Most Learned Sir, the Emperor now is going to declare himself, according to his Custom, to his Subjects. Listen.—
Stay mighty Emperor, and vouchsafe to be the Umpire of our Difference.
Bless us!—my two precious Lovers, I'll warrant; well, I had better take up with one of them, than lye alone to Night.
Receive your Mistriss, Sir, as the Reward of your undoubted Valour—
Your humble Servant, Sir, and Scaramouch, returns you humble Thanks.—
[Bawls out, and falls in a Chair. They all go to him.
My Heart misgives me—Oh, I am undone and cheated every way.—
—Most Noble Youths—you've honour'd me with your Alliance, and you, and all your Friends, Assistances in this Glorious Miracle, I invite to Night to revel with me.—Come all and see my happy Recantation of all the Follies Fables have inspir'd till now. Be pleasant to repeat your Story, to tell me by what kind degrees you Cozen'd me—
I see there's nothing in Philosophy—
[Gravely to himself.
Of all that writ, he was the wisest Bard, who spoke this mighty Truth.—